When people talk about debt, they often focus only on the numbers: how much you owe, how fast you can pay it off, how to budget better.
But what’s often left out of the conversation is the mental and emotional weight that debt — especially when it’s tied to addiction — can have on your life.
I’m living it right now.
Being in debt feels heavy every single day.
Recovering from an addiction relapse feels like dragging a ball and chain behind me.
And trying to do both at the same time? Some days it feels impossible.
The Invisible Burdens: Stress, Embarrassment, and Shame 🥀
The stress of managing debt is real.
It sits on your chest when you wake up and follows you to bed at night.
Every financial decision feels like a minefield.
Every unplanned expense feels like a crisis.
Then there’s the embarrassment.
The feeling that I’m “behind” everyone else. That I made mistakes that “better” people wouldn’t have made.
The fear that if people knew the full truth — the addiction, the debt — they would judge or pity me.
And the shame… the shame is sometimes the hardest part.
I look at the numbers, and I remember all the times I promised myself it would be different.
I promised I’d never fall back into gambling.
I promised I’d get out of debt for good.
And yet, here I am.
It’s a painful cycle — one that can easily spiral into hopelessness if I’m not careful.
How I Manage the Mental Struggle 🕊️
Healing my mind and emotions has to happen alongside paying off my debt.
Otherwise, I risk staying stuck in the same cycles.
Here are a few things I do to reduce my stress and anxiety when everything feels overwhelming:
🌿 Go on a walk.
Getting outside, even for 10-15 minutes, helps me break out of the mental fog and breathe again.
🌿 Practice breathing exercises.
When I feel panic start to rise, I take a few minutes to do deep breathing. In for 4 counts, hold for 4, out for 4. Repeat until my heart rate calms.
🌿 Reflect and reconnect through writing.
I reread my past blog posts and private journal entries.
I remind myself how far I’ve come, even when progress doesn’t feel fast enough.
Seeing my own words gives me strength to keep going.
It reminds me that every setback, every mistake, is just one chapter — not the whole story.
A Reminder to Anyone Struggling 📖💛
If you’re reading this and you’re also carrying the weight of debt, addiction recovery, or both — please know you’re not alone.
It’s not your fault that healing is messy.
It’s not your fault that recovery isn’t linear.
And it’s not too late to turn things around, no matter how many times you’ve fallen.
You deserve compassion. You deserve hope.
And you deserve a future where you are free — mentally, emotionally, and financially.
I’m fighting for that future every day. And if you are too, I’m cheering you on. 🫶🏼
